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1. Don’t just say “yes” to everything. It’s your day, too. Rumor even has it that she can’t get married without you! Sure, you may not care about invitations, bouquets or dress fabric, but at its essence, a wedding reception is a party, and since it’ll be half-filled with your friends and family, there are definitely details you should be actively involved with—music, food, drink, etc. And remember, if you start by saying “yes” to everything at the wedding, you’ll wake up 20 years from now surrounded by dried flowers, doilies and—ack!—potpourri.
2. Go easy picking ushers. Although you’ve been trained from youth in picking teams—baseball, basketball, fantasy football, etc.—you need to have only a few groomsmen (your top wingmen) in the wedding party, not an entire squadron. Make it quality over quantity. And beyond the best man (or men), what do the rest do besides make for overcrowded wedding photos anyway?
3. Don’t go wild at your bachelor party. Yes, the idea is to have one “last night of freedom” before getting married, but do yourself a favor and skip the over-the-top hedonism—it almost always ends badly. Unlike “what happens in Vegas,” there’s always a knucklehead who will tell his wife all the lurid details, who will then tell your bride-to-be. Besides, if you’re that hell-bent on partying like it’s your final day on Earth, then you may want to reconsider the entire marriage thing. To put it in sports terms: How you practice is how you play in the game, and if you can’t hit the fidelity curve in practice, you’re not likely to hit it later.
4. No kilts, frilly cummerbunds or pastel blue tuxedos. Though all these ideas may seem like fun, retro or wacky ways to express your “individuality,” when you look back a decade from now, all you’ll think is, “What the hell was I thinking?” If you must be creative or goofy, save it for the reception, where the fun is supposed to be and your spirited show of individuality will seem in context.
5. Pace yourself. Think of your wedding as a marathon, not a sprint. Although it seems to fly by, too often grooms who party on the way to the chapel (or even too hard during the rehearsal dinner) have nothing left in the tank when the reception really starts rolling. Or worse, they waste the first half of their honeymoon just trying to recover.
6. Relax—it’s just your friends and family. So many grooms get overly tense during wedding ceremonies, like they’re about to take the SAT or step into a lion’s cage (literally). Stop, take a deep breath and look around—it’s nothing but your closest friends and loved ones, all of whom are behind you this day and are (usually) ecstatic to be sharing in your happiness. Who cares if you mess up your vows or trip over the runner? Have a laugh and enjoy the moment.
7. Don’t macarena, chicken dance or electric slide. For the love of God, man, have some dignity and leave that silly steppin’ to your Aunt Lucy and your bride’s nieces! Besides, real men slow dance.
8. Smoosh that piece of cake in her face! This is probably your last chance to get in a shot like this with impunity—have fun and go for it. Just be gentle and don’t ruin her makeup.
9. Dance with her mom. After tripping the light fantastic with your mom, find a nice song, take your new mother-in-law on the dance floor and tell her how much you love her daughter. It may seem sappy to you, but it’ll mean a lot to her.
10. Remember to hang out with your wife at the reception. Too often brides and grooms are pulled in different directions once the reception begins, only seeing each other at the meal, when the cake gets cut and for a dance or two. Though you’ll have the rest of your lives together, nothing is more upsetting than looking back at pictures and realizing you have more shots of you with your golf buddies than with your new wife.
